The first strand

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken - Ecclesiastes 4:12

This was the verse that came to my husband before he decided to court me. It never really became my verse... mine was Ephesians 3:20. But today, it hit me. After many years, it finally sank in deep.

See... turbulence, storms, and nasties are a given any relationship, more so that between husband and wife. It became clear to me today how easy it is for both parties to see only from their focal point. Because that's all we have: our point of view. We know what we feel, what we mean, what we want, what we're getting or not getting, when and how we've been wrong... but the same can't always be said when it comes to seeing and feeling all those things as our partners would; simply because we are not our partners.

So when an argument breaks forth, all we have are our wounds, our feelings, our unmet needs, and our claims; of course with the occasional trying-to-walk-a-mile-in-our-partner's-shoes. So if both parties are arguing only for their own claims, the argument will escalate and the only solution is when one "dies to self". Believe me... "dying to self" is something I dislike... in fact if I have to "die to self" I go down with a big bang... sigh.

Back to the third strand. Ecclesiastes says that a cord of three strands is not easily broken. We often see the couple as the 1st and 2nd strand and God the 3rd. When in fact God should be the first. How this works in theory is quite uncomplicated... Husband is linked to God, wife is linked to God, God links both husband and wife together.

When husband and wife argue, they need to run to their 1st cord - God. This cord is a life-giving cord. Like the umbilical cord it pours out fresh anointing, fresh love, fresh understanding, fresh grace.. and in light of these selfishness, hurts, and anger has to melt away. When these nasties are gone, it becomes progressively easier to come back together again, to sit down and talk, to love each other again.

The umbilical cord spoke today, a very simple truth... yet something my parched soul longer to hear for months: you are Mine. Beautiful isn't it? To know that I am His... to know that I am loved for me and even though I stumble, I am still His.

To my fellow friends who are in a romantic relationship, please do not forget your first strand. He is the strand that will cause this marriage cord to withstand the test of life and time.