Somebody that I used to know

Growing up I was a people pleaser. I got hurt. Then i grew up and decided to be "assertive", or so I called it. Rationalizing that being assertive is the right way to go. After all, who would respect someone who doesn't respect herself. And by being a doormat I was disrespecting myself.

So I changed. Lost friendships. And when I did get to mend them, they were never the same.

Then I started working, and found new purpose in my life. I was to change the world one student at a time! Oh how noble of me, or so I thought. Selfish. But soon the old surfaced a little, and I opened up and started to care again. Bam... I got hurt again.

So I decided enough is enough. I'm done. I've had enough. The world could go ram themselves on concrete walls for all I cared. And I stopped caring. Stopped opening my heart.
The irony is... When i was the old me, i was happier. I loved but I also got loved back. I gave grace, and in return I got grace back. I embraced those with imperfections, and in return, my imperfections were embraced. Now that I've changed... I stand alone. Alone. I should be happier but I'm not. I don't even know who I am anymore.

To protect myself, I hurt others...

And now I stand alone.