Role of A Christian Husband and Wife According To The Bible

Different But Equal

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God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. It's no mistake. We are made perfect. We perfectly compliment each other, for one is not without the other.

We are different. Only when we are different, can we COMPLIMENT each other. Different, not better or worse, just different.

But the sad truth is, we as man distorted what God has planned for us and sought to govern ourselves. Women want to be men and men want to be women. The wife wants the husband's role and the husband wants the wife's role.

There's an epidemic going on here. But we are surpressed. This is politically incorrect. Shouldn't women can do anything men can do? Isn't there equality? Shouldn't we choose our own roles?

The Beliefs Of Our World

There are really two domains in this world. The home and the marketplace. In our world, the marketplace obviously dominates. We spend twelve, fourteen hours working in the office. So when a wife was asked to build and take care of the home, it is often seen as a diminishing role.

Why can't I go out to work? Why can't I go to the marketplace to compete? Women can do anything men can do.

The role of building and taking care of the home is definitely NOT a diminishing role. It is a full time job in and by itself. In many ways, it is just as complex as the marketplace. There's your family's hygiene, nutrition, budgeting, finances, decorating your home and theology, etc.

The home, in the bible, is a place very much respected. Jesus said heaven is home to God and those who believe in him. The temple, in the old testament, is God's home. God lives in our body. The home is a place of honor.

When the woman forsake the home for the marketplace, she is really putting her family in danger. Having it all is a myth. God made us with a purpose and assigned us our roles.

When a woman takes care of her home, she is in minister. Serving God and loving the neighbor.

The Role Of The Woman

1 Titus 2:3-5 said "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

The woman is to be home oriented. As I have said, this is not a minor role. This is THE major role. Paul said the woman to build home and the man provide for the home through the participation of the marketplace.

In today's society though, the home is viewed very lowly. It is viewed as a place to sleep and eat so you can go back to the marketplace. Caring for a home is hard work, just as hard as going to the office, and satisfying, just as satisfying as being promoted.

A woman is by nature caring. Look at jobs that require high amount care, like nurses and counselors, isn't the majority women? Women just care more than man. They are more sensitive and more capable of love.

This is because women are made to be men's helpers. Genesis 2:20-22 said, "So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man." Helpers is again not a diminishing role. The Holy Spirit is described in the bible as our helper.

"Modern" women is always thinking, why should I be helper? I want to be the leader or equal. I want to be independent. This is a distorted view. Helper and leader is equal but different. The leader needs the helper and so does the helper need the leader. Women think this way today because we were taught pride is the highest virtue. Your self-esteem is the most important thing in the world. But the bible preaches humility is the highest virtue and love is the most important thing in the world.

A man NEED his wife to be dependent on him. It is very important for a man to feel important. This has nothing to do with self-esteem. This is him. Just like a woman need his husband to love her. That is her. We are all made to be dependent on each other and as a community.

The Man's Role

Ephesians 5:22-24 said, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything"

But also, Ephesians 5:25-28 said, "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave him himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with the water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkles or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

Man's role is undoubtedly the leader of the house. But we are not taught this, because it is politically incorrect. We were instead taught a distorted sense of equality. Have you heard of the 50/50 rule where the husband will do the chores for a day and the wife on another? Has man ever cared enough to clean? Even when he does clean, how clean is it? Has a man cared enough to take out the rubbish? No! Because men are not made like that.

Man is the spiritual leader of the house. In the old testament, when a woman commits adultery or sexual immorality, she is brought to her father's steps and stoned. Why the father's steps? Because she is his responsibility.

The man is also to go out to the marketplace and provide his family for "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8

Continuing, 1 Timothy 5:14 said, "So I counsel younger windows to marry to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander."

Man is the disciplinarian of the house. Ephesians 6:4 wrote, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."