Fly Birdie Fly...

One of the pros/cons of working in a place such as homeschool, is the relationships built with people. People who somehow wiggle into your heart, find a place there, and never leave! Ever since stepping into the doors of Vineyard Resource as a supervisor in 2006, my life has changed - quite a bit actually. In 2007, I experienced my first "birds flying out of the nest" episode. Weird and foreign feelings filled me which I later identified as the "empty nest syndrome". Problem was, I was not a parent, certainly not their parents, neither were they my children. But still I felt this sore emptiness, kinda as though I had lost something.

Then in 2008, more birdies flew out of the nest. They had grown up, and outgrown homeschool. It was their time to take on the world! God knows the number of times I'd asked Him if I had done enough or well enough to guide, teach, and impact thier lives for the better. Understanding that I can only do so much, my comfort came from the knowledge that I had done my best. So which each departing student, I wonder if I had done my best.

Last night, two more birdies took flight - this time to Aussie. I guess I've learnt to deal with this sort of experience, so last night, in place of the sore emptiness, was a new emotion - excitement! I was exceedingly excited that Joseph and Mishie were now on their way to an adventure of their lives! New places, new faces, new experiences, new memories! Gosh, it made me miss the time when I was in Aussie. Last night was spent reminiscing the wonderful year in Aussie and a part of me was confident that it would be an even greater experience for them! =)

Sher Dislikes Research.... Very much!!!

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As the title proclaimed.... i do not like research. But it is inevitable!! No research = no thesis = no graduation = no masters degree = 2 years + wasted = plain dumb. Sigh.... As part of thesis requirement, I have to define my topic, dig through tonnes of literature, decide on what I would like to research about, plan my research (while making sure I can defend every bit of my plan) <--- WORST part of research, write a proposal, submit it to the ethics review board, wait for their go ahead, actually carry out my plan, gather data, analyze data (this part I don't like), formulate conclusions, write a 20,000 word paper, and defend my research in front of many experts.

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I DO NOT like research!! I've started planning this since last year, and I thought I actually did a good job! But... after review it a year later, I realized lots of flaws! The biggest hit was when I realized the underlying structure of my proposal was really really far fetched and unrealistic. Time is running, and I'm stuck. I find a flow, and realize it won't work. So it's been like that for a while: find a flow -> follow it -> dead end -> back to the drawing board

Everything is still a blur.... God.... please help me! I want to graduate...