So small

Carrie Underwood's song "So Small" really sums up the impact of perspectives and how perspectives we choose cause us to see our 'grains of sand' as unconquerable mountains. Choice Theory is right, at the end of the day, we choose our paths and how we feel. This song has been inspirational. Enjoy.

So Small
-Carrie Underwood

What you got if you ain't got love?
The kind that you just wanna give away
It's okay to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through

I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out
And just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands

And when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole

While you're sitting around thinking 'bout what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands

Oh, and when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small!

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands

And then you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Oh, it sure makes everything else
Seem so small

Beautiful...

Appreciate the Little Things

Learn to appreciate the little things, then you will have the character to appreciate the bigger ones.

I need to learn this lesson.

Read a little write up about Positive Psychology (good stuff!), and their premise is simple: when people are happy they are relaxed, when they are relaxed they are productive, when they are productive they will automatically be able and willing to give more than required.

Made me think, I used to do this quite often, to look at the good things. But seeing so many people and listening to their problems, just made it harder to remember that... no wonder why I'm dreading doing the things I am. Need to start looking and digging up the good stuff and turning a blind eye to the bad. =D

Another thing to add to the list: Look for the good!

Malachi 3:3

Malachi 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: 'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.' She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith,'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'

He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it.'

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them.

And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.

Another one from Crosswalk

I really love cross walk's devotionals, they speak such life and such wisdom from ordinary women like me, answering an extraordinary call or being a child of God, a wife, a mother. Hope this blesses you as much as it has blessed me.

How is Your Marriage?

Melissa Taylor

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7 (NASB)

Devotion:

A while ago, I wrote a devotion where I revealed portions of my past that continue to affect my marriage today. I followed that up with another one recounting the struggle I've had being intimate with my husband. I received hundreds of letters from women of all ages who could relate to what I had written. Because I also reported that my marriage was now thriving, I received a lot of questions and concerns:

"How did your marriage go from just surviving to thriving?"

"What if your husband won't go to counseling?"

"I don't love my husband anymore; what do I do?"

"My husband doesn't make me feel good; he doesn't even notice me."

"I'm exhausted from trying to be happy."

"All my husband wants is sex; I'm just too tired."

"What if your husband is not a Christian?"

"That's great for you, but what about me?"

I wish I was equipped to answer these questions. Wouldn't it be nice if we could go to Someone who could answer all of our questions for us? We can.

One thing that helped me was prayer. I know that sounds simple. I also know it's not. It can be difficult to pray and be satisfied with God's response. We need to be committed to receiving what God offers, not just asking for what we want.

For years, I spent my time praying for God to change Jeff, my husband. I blamed Jeff for me not feeling good about myself and my life. I thought:

If he would only pay more attention to me ... then I'd be happy.

If he would just be more romantic ... then I'd be fulfilled.

I wish he understood me.

He loves his work more than me.

I wish he would read the Bible more, or pray with me.

I bought the book, Power of a Praying Wife, certain if I began praying diligently for my husband everything would be fixed. I opened the book, ready to change my husband through prayer. Imagine my surprise when the first thing the author suggested was that I pray for myself! My intentions in reading this book was to change Jeff through my prayers, not to change me. That really opened my eyes. Maybe God didn't want to change my husband; maybe He wanted to change me!

This shifted my focus on what God could do in and through me. Instead of trying to figure out how His Word applied to everyone else (especially Jeff), I focused on how it applied to me. What a difference that made!

As I prayed for myself, I also began praying for Jeff. This time I stayed out of God's way and let Him work in both our hearts. There was not quick, but steady improvement. Looking back to when I first made the decision to focus more on my role in our marriage and less on Jeff's, and compare it to today, it is like night and day.

I am a wife, but even before that I am a child of God. I pray my marriage lasts forever, but I have no guarantee of that. I do have the guarantee that my relationship with Jesus will. That's the relationship I must work on first. Amazingly, when that one is right, the rest falls into place for me. It doesn't mean that all is well, but it means I am well.

The next time you find yourself yearning for more from your marriage and husband, think about this. Instead of asking, "How is my marriage doing?" or "How is my relationship with my husband?" Ask "How am I doing?" or "How is my relationship with Jesus?"

Dear Lord, help me to turn over all of the desires in my heart to You. Work on my relationships, beginning with me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

w1max

Ok... I sort of forgot to post this up.

2 weeks ago, I returned w1max... =( It was the 13th day of the free trial, and I reluctantly returned it. Reason being: too expensive for now. RM99 is Rm33 extra from what we're paying for streamyx. It would be cheaper if we gave up our home land line. But.... for obvious reasons we can't. So in short, we decided to return it.

WE LOVED THE SPEED!!!! We seriously did... but when it came down to how much we'd actually need the extra speed, we realised that we could live without the speed. T_T

It's been 2 weeks since w1max was sent away, and I have been missing every moment of it! Sigh. STREAMYX... you were supposed to be equally fast!!! Why oh why!!! Sigh....

Now Justin's actually thinking of just paying the extra for w1max. Fingers crossed! =D

Pause Before Reacting

Taken from Crosswalk's Encouragement for Today

by Lysa TerKeurst

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

Devotion:

A few years ago, Art and I hit a rough place financially. Some investments we'd made went bad and we lost nearly our entire life savings. I was knee deep in 3 small children at the time and hadn't a clue that financial danger was looming on the horizon.

That is until Art came home one day and the look on his face spoke of utter defeat. How could we have lost so much? He'd been wise with our finances. He'd done his research. He was a faithful saver. I stood stunned in our foyer that day, as Art told me the news.

There were many different directions my reaction could have gone in the minutes that followed. I was upset. When Art first talked of making these particular investments, I shared with him that I didn't have a good feeling about it. But, in the end, I let him make the final decision.

So many times in my marriage, I've chosen the wrong words - words that were tainted with bitterness, words that were emotionally toxic. But I'm so thankful the Lord had been working on preparing my heart for this moment and instead of reacting immediately with what would have been a disastrous response, I paused. I allowed the Holy Spirit a few seconds to interrupt my natural flesh feelings.

Then, because of God's Spirit working in me, I was able to wrap my arms around my husband and speak life-giving words into his weary heart. "I love you Art. I loved you yesterday when we had everything. I love you today when we have nothing. I love you for who you are, not what you have."

A few years later, Art and I were on Dr. Dobson's Focus on the Family radio program. On the show Art was asked, "I know you and Lysa had a rough start to your marriage. But what happened that made you know you'd stick by her forever, no matter what?"

Without hesitation, Art recounted my reaction over the lost investments.

I cried.

Had I been left to my own flesh reaction that day, it could have set us on the road to marital disaster. But, because of God's response being stored up in me, this situation wound up bringing us closer together than we'd ever been.

I realized how crucial it is to always be aware of God's preparation in our lives. Because He stands in our yesterday, today and tomorrow, He sees all. And He knows the perfect way to prepare our hearts for every situation.

When we embrace His preparations, even a girl with firecrackers in her blood like me can have reactions that honor God and breathe life into relationships.

Dear Lord, remind me to pause before I react. Sometimes the stresses of life pull at my emotions, which cause me to have reactions that tear at my relationships. Please forgive me for poor reactions in my past. Thank You for second chances. Thank You for the way You prepare my heart for everything You see that I'll be facing today, tomorrow and in all my tomorrows to come. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Mercy Ministries

Some thoughts

In the quest for self-development, I often ask myself:
What have I done today?
Why did I do the things I did?
Were my intentions right?
Did I please God?

Not because I am trying to be super-spiritual / righteous. That is not possible. Through learning and life, I've come to understand that this is the way I find balance. By focusing on an unchanging God, I find my balance.

Before Masters, time to reflect was abundant. In Aussie, reflecting became second nature and it was done every other day. But it is with much pain that I say since Masters, there just hasn't been time to reflect. As a result, I've been off tangent and reflection is done only when stress boils over... for a long while now. Actually since practicum started mid last year.

Change is a prerequisite of any counseling relationship. Change for both client and counselor. These few months of counseling have only served to confirm this. At this point, I am exhausted. I've been crying so much lately I don't know why. I get tired so quickly and easily, even when I've had more than enough sleep. It now takes double or triple the effort to stay afloat - to tell myself that I'm still doing OK, not perfect but still OK.

But life is a big lemon fan, the minute I've managed to pull myself together, another big fat sour lemon is thrown my way. Such is life. Recently I was reminded that no matter how hard I try, now nice I am, how right my intentions are, how flawless I've performed there will always be someone who will not approve. Somewhere, something, someone will manage to point out something of me that's not OK.

Key thing I've learned through past few weeks' supervision is to acknowledge the person of the counselor. Being so caught up with how others' are feeling, what others' think, is everyone happy, is everyone OK, will cause us to forget the person of the counselor and eventually drive us insane. In short, we have to find this balance between loving and pampering the self before we can help others.

My current state is that of a wreck in need of a serious overhaul which is being helplessly wheeled into a garage. I have lost my balance.

I sort of currently in the middle of loving myself and caring for others. I am not doing both well by any measure. Apparent in my current physical state and in the feedback I've been getting. I've not been very nice lately - moody to be exact. If I've in any way offended you of late, I apologize.

Oh God, I need to find my balance!! I need to live again! Reflection beckons... tonight maybe.

A Valentine's prayer

As we soul-search and brain-wreck to find the best things to write on V-day cards, to find the best place to go or the best gift to give, take time to reflect on the author and founder of love. Ever loving, ever patient, it was He who first loved us. And because of Him, we can now truly love. Here's a prayer take off from Crosswalk's "Encouragement for Today".

Dear Lord, Thank You for first loving me, and for showing me what love truly is. I'm so grateful You invited me to be Yours. Like a bouquet of exquisite roses in a simple earthen vase, I treasure Your presence in this "jar of clay." May others see You displayed in me this Valentine's, in Jesus' Name, Amen.

Happy Valentine's! As my student so wisely put it, V-day isn't just for lovers, it's a great time to remember and cherish those whom you love and who love you - family, friends alike!

Half Empty or Half Full?

Last October, we decided to start planning for our trip to Australia (Sydney) in 2009. That time, the feud between AirAsia and MAS had just started getting interesting. The best possible deal then was MAS's super saver return ticket to Melbourne at RM1,800 (including taxes etc.). Compared to Air Asia's close to RM2,000 to Melbourne. Direct flights to Sydney were about RM4k+. So that was it, we decided to buy return tickets KL-MLB via MAS and trasit to SYD via Virgin Blue.

Yesterday, MAS in its competition frenzy, introduced super saver rates to other places including Sydney!! Return tickets KL-SYD = RM1,600. At that point, I felt like my whole universe crumbled... I coul've easily saved RM 1,100 per person... Sigh... Imagine how far that amount could've stretched in Aussie??

Called Justin, and he reminded me about a few truths (nice counseling skills dar XD) and he was supportive through it all, despite actually having to spend a whooping RM2,200 extra, he reassured me over and over that all was still good! But the most insightful thing was what Jenn Ming said to me "Sher, you're still going to Australia! Should thank God weh" That got me thinking, Half Empty or Half Full? Funny isn't it? How we easily zoom in on the half empty part, and take trips down "if-only" road, take "what-if" stops, and wallow in "I should've" pools.

I may have, on hind sight, ended up causing the darling hubby to fork out more money, but Heck, I'm still going to Aussie!!! God is still good, God still provides more than we hope for or dream! The more than I hope for part in this was a deeper understanding of just how patient, forgiving, and supporting my husband is. =D Ooo one more thing, because we're flying to MLB first, we're actually spending 2 nights there! Muahahahaha! I may be lowering cognitive dissonance, but aren't paradigm shifts partly made of that? =D

Sooooooo the glass is HALF FULL BABY!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

w1max update no. 4

To counter the problem of our modem router assigning IPs by itself, Justin bought me an Ethernet cable, so it's plug-in all the way. w1max has been superb, clear signals, fast downloads, but I have no idea how to find out how much of the 20Gbs I've used. Any ideas?

w1max update no. 3

Hmmmm.... Connection was ok la today. Fast but not as fast. speedometer showed 1.2Mbps. Not bad, but once I jab it into the router, it dies. sigh... So I've concluded, it's the router. We have a D-Link Modem router, the modem functions should be the problem. So, w1max has been performing well so far =D

w1max update no. 2

Just shy of 24 hours since I praised w1max, it failed me!!! Last night was horrendous! I took us one hour to log on, even with the direct plug in! Gosh =.= And when I could finally log on, only facebook and blogger was fast, other webpages especially google based ones, were dead slow!

But here I am now, and everything's back to normal, exceptionally high speeds, instant log on... =/ It's like a yoyo! sigh. Leon said the tower was probably malfunctioning last night.

w1max update no. 1

Sales person said activation will take 12 hours, we tried it last night at 10-ish, so that made it about 7 hours from sign-up. And we got connected!! Speedometer showed 1.5Mbps. =D heh heh heh. Had a slight problem with the router, but with some help, the all-wonderful, all-intelligent hubby got it working! And after using it since morning, my first impressions of w1max = VERY GOOD!

Only prob is the 20gb cap. But we figured, we never go anywhere near 20gbs anyway. So, for now, chances are pretty high that we'll be keeping w1max! =D

w1max

We just signed up for the much hyped-up w1max! Current promotion: 15 days pay nothing trial. Takes them about 12 hours to activate it, so we won't be able to tell how well it performs just yet. Shall update when we've tested it. Package is at 99RM per month for 1.2Mbps mobile broadband. Certainly better than our current Streamyx package. After testing it out for a few days, we'll have to decide to switch or not to switch. If we do make the switch, next decision: to keep or not to keep our current land line. Decisions, decisions, decisions. But on the plus side, the w1max modem looks real pretty. Hohoho.